In This Life

It is almost impossible to fathom the idea that sometime in the next 96 hours Tyler and I will be parents. I mean, we've been parents for the last nine months, but holding and tending to Morgan outside of the womb is an entirely different experience.

I think we are both dealing with the approaching birth in different ways. I can't really speak for Tyler, but I've watched him go through 'nesting' more so than myself in the last week. I had to giggle when I walked through the kitchen on Wednesday night and found him standing in front of our pantry, which was completely empty. Boxes of food scattered on the sink board, I asked him what he was doing. Now, mind you, this was at 10:00p; he replied that he had, "bought more stuff and wanted to organize it." I just stood there, looking at him, as he replied, "What?!?" I didn't have to say it, he knew that his nesting instincts were kicking in. As he prepared for work last night he asked me 'not to call him unless I went into labor' because his nerves were so on edge, so he's definately dealing with some emotions and instincts in terms of Morgan's arrival.

Myself, I'm trying to maintain balance between preprations to be a mother and preprations to have a substitute. It's really pulling at my heartstrings, but I have to face it that I am an adult and have various responsibilities that I need to juggle in order to maintain order. I'm working hard, though, to make sure that my priority as a mother is #1, though. I had vented my emotions regarding such emotions a while back to another young mother who is an elementary school teacher and she relayed some wisdom shared with her when she had her child, "You can be a great teacher and a good mom or a great mom and a good teacher." The past three years of my life I've fumbled with the roles of teacher, wife, and indivdual so that I'd almost found a balance that left my life in a sense of order and given me the time with Tyler and the time to myself that I needed to be the teacher I want(ed) to be and maintain sanity. Now, it's time to throw another role in the mix, perhaps the most important role an individual can ever hold- parent.

Tyler and I have talked endlessly on goals, plans, etc. regarding our roles as parents. Now, all of these ideas and plans are going to be tested as they are put into action. As is typical, I fear failure but accept that it will happen, finding comfort in the fact that I have such a strong, loving partner to share in the experience with.

At this point, I can handle reducing my standards to being a 'good' teacher if that means more time, attention, and focus on our child. Putting that into action though, will be the test. So, here I sit, less than 48 hours before inducing labor- considering the to-do list before me and wanting to balance preprations for my leave of absence and preprations for my new task in life- raising a child. I want to reflect, to consider the experiences and events in my life that have lead me to this point...

The point in my life where I never even imagined the desire to birth a child to the moment where I anticipate the experience being the greatest accomplishment of my life.

The point in our marriage where our love becomes so tangible, having created a child who can bask and grow in that love and the support of her parents.

The point in our lives where our priorities, dreams, and desires shift and shape into not only visions of ourselves in the future but those same aspirations for our child.

It's just... amazing. I can't even begin to describe the emotions, joy, and experiences that are sure to come in the next few days- not to mention the rest of our lives.

n






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Make Womb for Baby!

We had our 39 week (and three days) appointment today, with sonogram. I had to laugh when once again Morgan's first clear picture was of her lady parts... There really isn't much 'womb' in there, so we didn't get any good pictures or views of her face, but we were assured that she has plenty of fluid, etc.

We saw her little heart just pumping away and her beautiful spine, leg bones, arm bones, tummy, kidneys, etc. We did get two pictures, one of the back of her head and ear and the other of her little hand (digits, as daddy says). Once we finished the sonogram we headed to the exam room and waited to talk with our doctor about her estimated size, etc.

I was half-expecting what we heard, but it didn't seem real until Dr. M shared their guesstimates. At our 33 week appointment Morgan was in the 76th percentile, which basically means that if there were 100 women who became pregnant on the same day I did, 26 of them would have babies larger than I would... no worries. Well, according to today's sonogram we are in the 90th percentile- same scenerio- only 9 babies would be larger than Morgan. I know that their estimates can be off significantly, however, when he said they are estimating her to be around 9lb. 6oz. I was still taken aback a bit. I really feel like she'll be more like 8lb something-or-other, but we'll have to wait and see.

We discussed the options:
1) Schedule Induction OR 2) Schedule C-Section

We opted for scheduling an induction to begin with and attempting a vaginal birth- our original hopes and plan. SO, we go in on SUNDAY (Yeah, like THREE DAYS from now) for induction!!! It looks like Morgan might actually be born on her due date (9/20)!

After making the decision, Dr. M walked me to scheduling while Tyler took care of paying for and picking up our breast feeding pump. As the lady was scheduling me, she told me that her 'record' was that almost everyone she scheduled for induction actually ended up going into labor naturally before the scheduled induction, we shared a good laugh at that. As she was on speaker scheduling the appointment, I started to shake out of nervousness and anxiety- even so that my teeth started to chatter. I got myself in check pretty quickyly, but couldn't shake the 'OH MY GOD' feeling that this is really going to happen SOON.

I had somewhat resigned myself that having this little baby in my body was going to last forever, as silly as that sounds. Now, having the date, time, and appointment set is just so REAL. I have to laugh, though, because if Morgan's personality is actually how I percieve it, she'll know that I'm all prepared and ready for Sunday now and decide to 'surprise' us early. Actually, about an hour after leaving the office, I started feeling some cramps and though, "Really, baby girl?" However, they subsided for the most part.

So, exciting changes and transitions for the Jenkins household in the next few days!

Natasha








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She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain...

When she comes.

Yesterday marked the start of week 38! We had a busy weekend, road tripping to Wichita for Matt (Tyler's Brother) & Crispian's wedding. It was a wonderful event and we had a great time. I tried to take it easy over the weekend and keep my feet up as they have been swelling horribly. Exhibit One:

The nursery is as ready as can be, our hospital bag is packed (albeit it needs to be re-packed to include different items), and we've taken our breastfeeding and childbirth classes. Now, it's just up to Morgan when the next phase of operation baby-birthing begins. I have yet to really feel any contractions, as far as I know. However, on the road home from Wichita on Sunday, I thought that perhaps I was feeling some Braxton Hicks contractions.

My lower abdomen would tighten with an ache/cramp and remain that way for a moment or so before lightening up again- in the process Morgan would go NUTS kicking and bumping around, sending waves across my belly. It wasn't quite painful but it was uncomfortable but not long-lasting. After about thirty minutes or so I was able to fall asleep and remained in and out of sleep for the rest of the car ride home. So, if it was anything, it subsided.

Aside from my feet aching, swelling, and tingling I feel alright- uncomfortable but pretty good. I learned how to podcast last week, so I'm going to work on getting lessons podcasted about a week ahead of time for my sub. I have a feeling that Morgan just might decide to make an appearance next week...

Kibbles has been so silly lately. She has taken to following me around the house and staying at my feet 90% of the time. Right now, she's laying under my desk (her new favorite spot) and leaning against my right foot. Perhaps she is trying to give me a purr-sage to comfort my swollen tootsie? Regardless, she's been extra loving and it is appreciated. As soon as we were home Sunday I was in bed for a quick nap and it wasn't long before she was stretched out across my chest with her paws over Morgan. Our 37 week appointment was fairly quick and simple, however, Dr. P mentioned for the first time that I am 'measuring big'. He discussed the probability that the baby could be larger (8-9lb) but noted that isn't usually a reason for induction. We did schedule, though, another growth scan for 9/16 if we have not had her yet. That is four days before our due date, and I'm guessing we might not make it that far.

This week (wk. 38) our appointment is actually with Dr. M (haven't seen him since 8/2), our delivering doctor! It is on Thursday afternoon, and we'll see what he thinks about size, swelling, etc.

As for school, it looks to be a fairly busy week. I'm working a volleyball game at the middle school tonight and my students embark upon content today, and their Black Death simulation tomorrow. Friday is our first home Football game and I'm looking forward to that and the pulled pork dinner that goes with it! Let's see if Morgan holds out so that I can enjoy the first home game. I'm sure daddy wouldn't be too disappointed if she decided to come in the middle of the week, as that is his 'off time'.

No signs of pending departure, though, as of yet. 14 days until our due date!!!

Natasha

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The answer comes in a cup...

I tested yesterday for the Strep B bacteria and was told that I would only get a telephone call from an actual person if I tested positive and then we'd proceed from there to protect the baby once my water breaks and we proceed through labor.

So, I was a bit hesitant to take the phone from Tyler when he said, "It's the doctor's office." I answered and the nurse introduced herself and I muttered, "Oh, no, did my results come back positive?" She was a little unsure and said, "we got your hospital labs back and you have a urine infection." I said, "OH! I tested yesterday for Strep B..." and she reassured me that those results are not back yet. WHEW.

I did find it a little disconcerting that it took over a week for the hospital to determine that I had not one, not two, but three organisms in my urine. The night we were at the hospital, they said my urine looked clean and that wasn't the cause of my pain. However, the nurse just explained on the phone that the infection could very well be the cause of my pelvic and back pain. Good to know.

So, antibiotics for a week and we'll hopefully clear this thing up.

Our childbirth class for this evening was re-scheduled, as the instructor called me today to let me know she woke up with pink eye. I told her we'd reschedule so as not to chance any risk of my getting pink eye (or Tyler for that matter). Now, we've bumped it to 8/30... we'll be 37 weeks then and just hope that Morgan doesn't surprise us with an early arrival.

She has been thumpin' around quite a bit this afternoon... silly booger! Now, that frees up our night so that Tyler and I can go out together and do something non-school related and FUN!

Natasha

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Another Step Closer...

As of today, we are ready for weekly doctor's appointments! I ventured out alone to the 35 week checkup, as Tyler was working the 2nd job this afternoon and evening. I met with a new nurse, who was quite friendly, and then visited with Dr. P throughout the checkup. It was pretty quick, however, we did the test for Strep B and I should know the results for that in a couple of days.


If you are unfamiliar, it's a pretty harmless bacteria that is potentially harmful to the baby as it exits the birth canal. If I'm a carrier, they'll simply put me on anibiotics once my water breaks in order to protect the baby.



Tyler was a sweetie tonight and picked up pizza for dinner after getting home. I've really been craving a lighter fare, but it was tasty. Morgan absolutely loves it when I lean back in the recliner and she can stretch out and roll around- so after dinner I did this and she put on quite a show. I felt a hand and her feet as I rubbed and she tumbled around. I'm getting to the point that every time I see a small baby, I just ache to have Morgan in my arms... I never in my life imagined I would experience that.



Sunday was Morgan's final shower, and several friends and family members showed up for the lovely scrapbook themed event. Morgan now has several pages for her birth-one year scrapbook that were personalized and created by these individuals! Here are a few pictures from the lovely shower that my colleague and friend, Bethany (and her mom, Donna) threw:




If you are yearning for more shower pics, my Aunt Julie took a bunch that I have uploaded to my facebook album; you can view them HERE. The album has pictures of each shower... enjoy!

The 5:00am rise and shine has been killer as we transition back into the school year. However, Morgan is usually up to greet me with some kicks as I hit snooze a couple times and then make my way to the kitchen for breakfast and then to the shower. There are days when she responds quickly to the warm shower and others where I think she is in a 'food coma' from breakfast.

Inservice meetings have been interesting, as our principal's voice frequently rises to a loud, shouting 'teacher voice' tone, she'll respond with some startled kicks... ha! When the room gets a little load during discussions, too, she seems to get a little flustered and kicks around. It's a pretty neat experience to feel her react to MY environment.

Tuesday marks 36 weeks AND the first day of school... it is going to be an interesting ride. I discovered today that my long-term sub, too, is expecting and his wife is due 9/4! Let's hope I hold out until closer to our due date (9/20) so he gets some time with his new babe, too!

Natasha




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Slow & Steady

The theme of the past week has been 'transitions'. It has been incredibly difficult to go from sleeping in, lounging around, and focusing on myself and baby to trying to put a classroom back together and all that entails. I'm still struggling to find the happy median between 'too much' and 'too little' but I'm hoping to have that 'a-ha' moment prior to the first day of school.

I feel a little guilty because I rather liked my summer and the fact that everything could be all about Morgan and the pregnancy. It is difficult to balance my mindset to include both Morg and school. It'll be a learning stretch, but I know it'll come to me at some point.

I had a good talk with Tyler the other night about not wanting to be someone who 'doesn't have time for hobbies' or is a workaholic- like I have been the past three years. I know now where my priorities need to be and where I want them to be, I just need a little guidance on how to get there.

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Poor Morgan got a nice 'thump' hello from Kibbles last night- followed by a nice scolding of Kibbles from daddy. Kibbles was in 'freak-out mode', running through the house and going nuts. She took a running jump over the back of the futon (on which I was laying) and landed right on my left side, where Morgan's back and butt typically rest. It knocked the wind out of me but Morgan didn't seem to startle or thump back or anything... maybe she was asleep? Kibbles is going to need to watch out, I'm pretty confident that Morgan will outweigh her seven pounds at birth. I'm sure, though, that she'll also put Kibbles through the hell of living with a toddler in years to come... payback! :-)

We have our doctor's appointment (35 weeks) on Wednesday afternoon, where they'll do the StrepB test to see if I am a carrier and if so they'll make accommodations (I think oral meds? A shot for baby at birth) to protect Morgan from the potentially harmful bacteria. Aside from that, I think the visit will be fairly routine.

Our Childbirth class was scheduled for today from 9a-4p, but if Tyler attended he would have had to be up for nearly 36 hours straight, so we arranged to pay a little extra and have a 1:1 personalized course some time in the next week or two. He's convinced that his mindset will be much clearer with sleep.

I've been taking it easy the last couple of days, after Tuesday night's scare. It is becoming pretty painful to walk back-and-forth from my classroom to the office and from classroom to other parts of the school, so I'm trying to limit my trips beyond the classroom door before the year officially starts. I can only imagine what early September is going to feel like! HA!

Natasha

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Practice Run

Things learned in the last 24 Hours:

1) That Tyler can be up and ready to drive to the hospital in less than 7 minutes.

2) We can get to said hospital in about 35 minutes when abiding by most traffic laws.

3) Where to enter the hospital at 1:30 am.

4) That muscle spasms and contractions apparently feel different.

5) That Morgan gets very flustered when I sneeze (HB jumps from the 130's to the 160's and then calms down...)

6) That I can drink a WHOLE lot of water in 30 minutes.

7) That I need to make some MAJOR changes to the way I do things at school if I want to be somewhat-comfortable throughout the remainder of the pregnancy.

8) My cervix is still very-much closed.

9) That I always imagined I would be HOT in the hospital when under stress/pressure, but was VERY Cold- need to amend the contents of my hospital bag.

10) That traffic on I-35 is much better at night.

If you didn't catch it from the Letterman themed top ten, Tyler and I made a 'practice run' to the hospital last night. After waiting it out for about three hours, I finally decided that what I was feeling warranted an exam by a medical professional, in case the pain was indeed contractions.

To try to describe it accurately, I would say that it felt like lightning bolts striking my lower abdomen and then streaking across my pelvic area. Pair that with the intense pressure that followed and I thought I just might be having pre-labor contractions. I had called the doctor on call and decided to try to fall asleep and just call back in the morning since I didn't have any really scary concerns like bleeding or losing fluid. However, I woke up after about 30 minutes of sleep and the pains were unbearable. At that point, we decided a trip to the hospital was in order.

When we reached Olathe the pains, which were fairly solid but intensified about every 10 to 15 minutes, moved into my lower left side and back. It was at that point that I dropped a few 'f bombs' (okay, several, repeatedly) and Tyler pushed down a little more on the accelerator. Once at the hospital we went up to the third floor and turned left- the dreaded hallway I had hoped to avoid (pre-term labor issues/exams). I was strapped with a fetal monitor to listen to Morgan (whom I wasn't so concerned about because she was moving and thumping non-stop) while the nurse checked my cervix, etc. I was happy to hear that my cervix remained fully closed, but puzzled as to what these pains were then.

I endured several more bouts as they monitored and examined. The final verdict from the on-call doctor was that I overdid it in my classroom on Monday and Tuesday, pulling a muscle in my lower back. The spasms from this muscle effected my abdominal muscles, causing the pains I mentioned. At this, I thought to myself, "Oh, God, if these aren't contractions what do they feel like?!?" We remained at the hospital for a couple more hours of monitoring and some water intake. The pains were still present when we left, and I nearly threw up on the ride home. However, there's not much I can take in the way of pain relief at this point in the pregnancy, so I'll just get extra practice at pain management pre-labor. I should be a pro by then!

I'm on 'restricted activity' for a while, so I went to the school today but mostly sat and did light activity. I wasn't very productive, but had some quality time with a couple Renaissance kiddos (lots of laughter there) and a parent-night meeting this evening. Tomorrow: Enrollment! Morgan has been moving quite a bit today and yesterday, and I've done a much better job at keeping a regular schedule (eating, getting up, etc.). This has been one of my major priorities since I've been sleeping in quite a bit and eating at odd times. I don't want to confuse the poor thing!

Kibbles, too, has been extra cuddly, which is appreciated. She likes to curl up on my chest and stretch her paws out over where Morgan's legs are. She does not, however, like it when she rests her hind end in that same area and gets a few kicks in the butt from Morg! HA!!!

Tomorrow night is our parent meeting with our chosen pediatrician, which I'm excited about. I need to upload pictures of the completed crib (with bedding!) and recent Morgan-themed purchases. Sunday is our last Shower, so after that we'll need to outline the final necessities we need to purchase and get down to business. Right now, I know that Breast Pump and Bottles top the list- I'm sure there are other things but I can't think of them right now.

Oh, by the way, I highly recommend you check out Tyler's blog. It's devoted to his adventures and musings on fatherhood. You can visit it at www.tjenkins.blogspot.com.

Natasha



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