In This Life

It is almost impossible to fathom the idea that sometime in the next 96 hours Tyler and I will be parents. I mean, we've been parents for the last nine months, but holding and tending to Morgan outside of the womb is an entirely different experience.

I think we are both dealing with the approaching birth in different ways. I can't really speak for Tyler, but I've watched him go through 'nesting' more so than myself in the last week. I had to giggle when I walked through the kitchen on Wednesday night and found him standing in front of our pantry, which was completely empty. Boxes of food scattered on the sink board, I asked him what he was doing. Now, mind you, this was at 10:00p; he replied that he had, "bought more stuff and wanted to organize it." I just stood there, looking at him, as he replied, "What?!?" I didn't have to say it, he knew that his nesting instincts were kicking in. As he prepared for work last night he asked me 'not to call him unless I went into labor' because his nerves were so on edge, so he's definately dealing with some emotions and instincts in terms of Morgan's arrival.

Myself, I'm trying to maintain balance between preprations to be a mother and preprations to have a substitute. It's really pulling at my heartstrings, but I have to face it that I am an adult and have various responsibilities that I need to juggle in order to maintain order. I'm working hard, though, to make sure that my priority as a mother is #1, though. I had vented my emotions regarding such emotions a while back to another young mother who is an elementary school teacher and she relayed some wisdom shared with her when she had her child, "You can be a great teacher and a good mom or a great mom and a good teacher." The past three years of my life I've fumbled with the roles of teacher, wife, and indivdual so that I'd almost found a balance that left my life in a sense of order and given me the time with Tyler and the time to myself that I needed to be the teacher I want(ed) to be and maintain sanity. Now, it's time to throw another role in the mix, perhaps the most important role an individual can ever hold- parent.

Tyler and I have talked endlessly on goals, plans, etc. regarding our roles as parents. Now, all of these ideas and plans are going to be tested as they are put into action. As is typical, I fear failure but accept that it will happen, finding comfort in the fact that I have such a strong, loving partner to share in the experience with.

At this point, I can handle reducing my standards to being a 'good' teacher if that means more time, attention, and focus on our child. Putting that into action though, will be the test. So, here I sit, less than 48 hours before inducing labor- considering the to-do list before me and wanting to balance preprations for my leave of absence and preprations for my new task in life- raising a child. I want to reflect, to consider the experiences and events in my life that have lead me to this point...

The point in my life where I never even imagined the desire to birth a child to the moment where I anticipate the experience being the greatest accomplishment of my life.

The point in our marriage where our love becomes so tangible, having created a child who can bask and grow in that love and the support of her parents.

The point in our lives where our priorities, dreams, and desires shift and shape into not only visions of ourselves in the future but those same aspirations for our child.

It's just... amazing. I can't even begin to describe the emotions, joy, and experiences that are sure to come in the next few days- not to mention the rest of our lives.

n






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Make Womb for Baby!

We had our 39 week (and three days) appointment today, with sonogram. I had to laugh when once again Morgan's first clear picture was of her lady parts... There really isn't much 'womb' in there, so we didn't get any good pictures or views of her face, but we were assured that she has plenty of fluid, etc.

We saw her little heart just pumping away and her beautiful spine, leg bones, arm bones, tummy, kidneys, etc. We did get two pictures, one of the back of her head and ear and the other of her little hand (digits, as daddy says). Once we finished the sonogram we headed to the exam room and waited to talk with our doctor about her estimated size, etc.

I was half-expecting what we heard, but it didn't seem real until Dr. M shared their guesstimates. At our 33 week appointment Morgan was in the 76th percentile, which basically means that if there were 100 women who became pregnant on the same day I did, 26 of them would have babies larger than I would... no worries. Well, according to today's sonogram we are in the 90th percentile- same scenerio- only 9 babies would be larger than Morgan. I know that their estimates can be off significantly, however, when he said they are estimating her to be around 9lb. 6oz. I was still taken aback a bit. I really feel like she'll be more like 8lb something-or-other, but we'll have to wait and see.

We discussed the options:
1) Schedule Induction OR 2) Schedule C-Section

We opted for scheduling an induction to begin with and attempting a vaginal birth- our original hopes and plan. SO, we go in on SUNDAY (Yeah, like THREE DAYS from now) for induction!!! It looks like Morgan might actually be born on her due date (9/20)!

After making the decision, Dr. M walked me to scheduling while Tyler took care of paying for and picking up our breast feeding pump. As the lady was scheduling me, she told me that her 'record' was that almost everyone she scheduled for induction actually ended up going into labor naturally before the scheduled induction, we shared a good laugh at that. As she was on speaker scheduling the appointment, I started to shake out of nervousness and anxiety- even so that my teeth started to chatter. I got myself in check pretty quickyly, but couldn't shake the 'OH MY GOD' feeling that this is really going to happen SOON.

I had somewhat resigned myself that having this little baby in my body was going to last forever, as silly as that sounds. Now, having the date, time, and appointment set is just so REAL. I have to laugh, though, because if Morgan's personality is actually how I percieve it, she'll know that I'm all prepared and ready for Sunday now and decide to 'surprise' us early. Actually, about an hour after leaving the office, I started feeling some cramps and though, "Really, baby girl?" However, they subsided for the most part.

So, exciting changes and transitions for the Jenkins household in the next few days!

Natasha








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She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain...

When she comes.

Yesterday marked the start of week 38! We had a busy weekend, road tripping to Wichita for Matt (Tyler's Brother) & Crispian's wedding. It was a wonderful event and we had a great time. I tried to take it easy over the weekend and keep my feet up as they have been swelling horribly. Exhibit One:

The nursery is as ready as can be, our hospital bag is packed (albeit it needs to be re-packed to include different items), and we've taken our breastfeeding and childbirth classes. Now, it's just up to Morgan when the next phase of operation baby-birthing begins. I have yet to really feel any contractions, as far as I know. However, on the road home from Wichita on Sunday, I thought that perhaps I was feeling some Braxton Hicks contractions.

My lower abdomen would tighten with an ache/cramp and remain that way for a moment or so before lightening up again- in the process Morgan would go NUTS kicking and bumping around, sending waves across my belly. It wasn't quite painful but it was uncomfortable but not long-lasting. After about thirty minutes or so I was able to fall asleep and remained in and out of sleep for the rest of the car ride home. So, if it was anything, it subsided.

Aside from my feet aching, swelling, and tingling I feel alright- uncomfortable but pretty good. I learned how to podcast last week, so I'm going to work on getting lessons podcasted about a week ahead of time for my sub. I have a feeling that Morgan just might decide to make an appearance next week...

Kibbles has been so silly lately. She has taken to following me around the house and staying at my feet 90% of the time. Right now, she's laying under my desk (her new favorite spot) and leaning against my right foot. Perhaps she is trying to give me a purr-sage to comfort my swollen tootsie? Regardless, she's been extra loving and it is appreciated. As soon as we were home Sunday I was in bed for a quick nap and it wasn't long before she was stretched out across my chest with her paws over Morgan. Our 37 week appointment was fairly quick and simple, however, Dr. P mentioned for the first time that I am 'measuring big'. He discussed the probability that the baby could be larger (8-9lb) but noted that isn't usually a reason for induction. We did schedule, though, another growth scan for 9/16 if we have not had her yet. That is four days before our due date, and I'm guessing we might not make it that far.

This week (wk. 38) our appointment is actually with Dr. M (haven't seen him since 8/2), our delivering doctor! It is on Thursday afternoon, and we'll see what he thinks about size, swelling, etc.

As for school, it looks to be a fairly busy week. I'm working a volleyball game at the middle school tonight and my students embark upon content today, and their Black Death simulation tomorrow. Friday is our first home Football game and I'm looking forward to that and the pulled pork dinner that goes with it! Let's see if Morgan holds out so that I can enjoy the first home game. I'm sure daddy wouldn't be too disappointed if she decided to come in the middle of the week, as that is his 'off time'.

No signs of pending departure, though, as of yet. 14 days until our due date!!!

Natasha

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